“Without Thrive at Five, I’d probably be in a mother and baby unit” – Lauren’s story.
Before becoming a mum, Lauren was a youth worker, helping young men who had been in trouble or prison to rebuild their lives. She found them somewhere to live, supported them into work and helped to put their lives back on the right path. Yet when Lauren needed help herself, she did not know where to turn.
You get told on social media that it's love at first sight when you have a baby and that all the pain just disappears. But that didn't happen to me. I don't think I loved her or even liked her for the first few months”.
Although Lauren appeared to be coping, in reality she felt more like a babysitter than a mum and was too afraid to tell anyone how she was feeling. Her Health Visitor noticed that she needed support and referred her to a Welfare Support Worker, who offered to accompany her to a local parent, baby and toddler group (PBT) at a nearby community centre.
This small step led to a big turning point.
At the centre, Lauren encountered Thrive at Five for the first time. As part of our work to strengthen early years provision for families, our team in Redcar & Cleveland had supported the establishment of the group and supplied resources. Our Parent Connectors continue to regularly drop in as part of their role in reaching families and connecting them with services and support.
Grace, one of Thrive at Five’s Parent Connectors said: ‘I was able to have a really in-depth conversation with Lauren, and I recognised that this was a family that would need some extra support. They didn’t know other families or what was there for them in the area. They didn’t know about the local Family Hub, where it was or what it offered. This left them really isolated.”
Unlike other baby groups where everyone focusses on the little ones, with Thrive at Five, they are there for the parents too. They listen to me and support me, which has made it feel less daunting to go out of the house".
Grace suggested that Lauren come along to another PBT at a nearby Family Hub and arranged to meet her and walk there with her. This reflects a key part of Thrive at Five’s approach: we go to where parents are and support them to access services.
As Lauren came to know and trust the Thrive at Five team, she began to look forward to the groups.
Meeting other parents at the groups, and sharing experiences with them also helped Lauren to feel less alone. She says “If I’m honest, me and Ryan have been co-parenting with ChatGPT. We’ve been messaging to say our daughter’s now doing this, is this normal? Or can my daughter eat this? It’s nice to hear advice from an actual human person.”
Lauren’s biggest breakthrough came from watching how Grace and the Parent Connectors interacted with Darliah. They showed delight in seeing her, spoke directly to her and waited for a response and happily got down on the floor to play with her – part of the role to model parent-infant engagement. Seeing this gave Lauren the confidence to try the same things herself and, over time, begin building a bond with her daughter.
Without Thrive at Five, Lauren thinks life would look very different. She says “Thrive at Five were the light in the darkest of times. They helped me realise that I’m good at being a mum and gave me a sense of purpose. Without Thrive at Five, I’d probably be in a mother and baby unit”.
Once a relationship of trust was established, Thrive at Five were able to connect the family to other support and services, including the baby bank, sensory café, mental health support. The team also invited the family to attend Makaton classes to develop different ways of communicating with Darliah.
Now, Lauren and Ryan are looking forward to celebrating Darliah’s first birthday, watching her reach many more milestones, and enjoying a future where they thrive as a family.